Today, March 12, was Mom's birthday. We lost her 35 years ago. She passed three days after her 45th birthday.
I remember the call from my youngest sister who was living at home. I was 26, married and living about 7 miles away. It was one of those groggy mornings, I didn't understand what was said. But I knew something was wrong, quickly dressed & drove to the house. As soon as I got out of the car, I saw Grandpa who lived next door. As he walked back to his house, he commented,
"It should have been me." "How could this happen?"
The rest of the day was a blur. My husband drove to pick up another sister at college. My brother was 11 and unsure of what to do. Dad clung to him. Through the blur, we gathered and made decisions. We went through the motions. Choose a dress. Meet the Funeral director. Make arrangements. Select flowers, music, .. So many things none of us knew anything about. We tried to be a family. We spent the night together. We tried to live past it We took dad on a trip across the country. In April I finished sewing my youngest sister's prom dress. Holiday gatherings were not the same. Grandchildren were all born after she passed. We took Dad on an airplane trip. We celebrated special events but we always felt the space.
Sometimes I thought, I'll give her a call, temporarily forgetting that she was gone. One night in my sleep she came to the foot of my bed. She told me everything would be ok. It seemed so real, I wanted it to be real. Time passed, life passed. Mom, you are sorely missed. We will always love you.
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